I feel compelled.
I have to complete an ethics quiz to be allowed do my research, but I don’t think this says what IRB means it to say: “Only qualified scientists must conduct research.”
Now of course I’m pretty sure they intend this to mean that research must only be conducted by qualified research scientists — there are to be no amateurs with clipboards in the lab. What it actually says, though, is that only those individuals who are qualified scientists are compelled to conduct research. Carpenters, plumbers, lawyers, and poets are free to conduct research at their discretion.
So in the elitist, pedantic spirit of the original rule I propose my own: Only qualified linguists may compose sentences. It’s every bit as full of shit as the original, but at least I got the modal right.